Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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