cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Your cock deserves a montage
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
