It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
