if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
