when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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