i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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