he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
