did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
even my farts smell like vagina
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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