I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
