Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
