have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
