he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
