I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
high people should be assigned attendants
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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