brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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