another moral hangover. fuck.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
