She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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