Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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