life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
