I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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