Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
