East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
