You really coming over, don't trick.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
