Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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