I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
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Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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