He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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