Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
