I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
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If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
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Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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