Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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