so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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