I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't think brook has ever known best
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
