best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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