I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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