Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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