Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
