Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
