WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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