Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
