sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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