I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
two words...techno handjob
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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