Im at strip club and am horny
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
