dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
