He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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