but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
