im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
