True but thats because hes a fetus.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
