I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?