i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
