I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
its like you know when i get waxed