It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.