if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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