Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
