i wish semen tasted like chocolate
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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