I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize