A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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