I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize