i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
