Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
