Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer. http://tfl.nu/7z73
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude my mom stole all your condoms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Dude my mom stole all your condoms http://tfl.nu/kyrw
  Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"

  (1-916): View more from California

  High five!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?" (1-916): High five! http://tfl.nu/3w1i
  Replies (2) Good night (2564) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!? http://tfl.nu/xjgi
  Replies (29) Good night (699) Bad night (4020)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth. http://tfl.nu/wet5
  Replies (9) Good night (662) Bad night (3272)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school http://tfl.nu/yqnn
  Replies (27) Good night (5175) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard http://tfl.nu/y6ds
  Replies (12) Good night (5040) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay. http://tfl.nu/5u6r
  Replies (10) Good night (4361) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men. http://tfl.nu/1jv8
  Replies (25) Good night (1922) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/xgvx
  Replies (8) Good night (622) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice. http://tfl.nu/c8dh
  Replies (9) Good night (1108) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five. http://tfl.nu/ztzm
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful. http://tfl.nu/7o2z
  Replies (4) Good night (667) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party http://tfl.nu/141m
  Replies (4) Good night (752) Bad night (184)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak http://tfl.nu/2vt3
  Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (215)

Randomize