Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

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(202): I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha http://tfl.nu/h2dn

Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (4915)
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(352): View more from Florida

im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition

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(352): im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition http://tfl.nu/5ifl

Replies (18) Good night (1024) Bad night (5265)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.

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(404): I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building. http://tfl.nu/5zu2

Replies (19) Good night (4154) Bad night (1169)
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(+33): View more from France

how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?

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(+33): how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men? http://tfl.nu/4scz

Replies (61) Good night (7156) Bad night (1373)
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(707): View more from California

I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.

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(707): I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child. http://tfl.nu/d3n6

Replies (4) Good night (2975) Bad night (983)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.

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(702): I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks. http://tfl.nu/qdu7

Replies (26) Good night (1045) Bad night (5957)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

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(732): That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. http://tfl.nu/7vfy

Replies (10) Good night (9878) Bad night (1292)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.

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(803): Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization. http://tfl.nu/ap11

Replies (13) Good night (981) Bad night (3134)
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(813): View more from Florida

I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.

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(813): I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly. http://tfl.nu/szur

Replies (16) Good night (910) Bad night (2062)
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(207): View more from Maine

We are hot boxing the gondola

(607): View more from New York

I hate everything.

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(207): We are hot boxing the gondola (607): I hate everything. http://tfl.nu/4t9d

Replies (9) Good night (1564) Bad night (704)
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(212): View more from New York

Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.

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(212): Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals. http://tfl.nu/0i6j

Replies (2) Good night (1950) Bad night (580)
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(206): View more from Washington

After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.

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(206): After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard. http://tfl.nu/g18p

Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (660)
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(913): View more from Kansas

well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time

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(913): well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time http://tfl.nu/j1wb

Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (424)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH

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(865): I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH http://tfl.nu/s3s4

Replies (4) Good night (739) Bad night (403)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.

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(571): I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked. http://tfl.nu/tqj6

Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (787)

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