Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.