i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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