I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B