You're a womanizer and a bitch.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
