I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
